yada yada yada

from the mouths of my babes....
"morning mama, i missed you last night, um, mom, are those the shoes you wore to the fancy party?" "why did you take them off in the middle of the floor?" "so what made you wear a pants outfit, you usually LOVE to wear a dress? And is that your BIG purse? you took that?"
* have i mentioned the attention to detail my monkey has, we are the early birds at our happy home and usually have a good amount of time to snuggle and chat about this that and some more as my monkey is NEVER without many words....no matter how tired you are!*

RUSHing out the door, you know the normal mad dash we do to get ANYWHERE.... (i am remembering daddyc's uncle bill's wish for me for my birthday..."i wish for you nowhere to be and ALL DAY to get there"

Dear Uncle Bill, Can i cash in on that wish?  or shall i be asking my fairy God mother, where the hell is she when i need her?

Anyway.......back to my sweet child's voice.

"oh mama, i just really love having Ahh-lee's car in our driveway (thats my mom, Lolly to the boys, her car is in our driveway for the moment), Can we drive it sometime? Lolly or as he says aahlly knows all those songs she sings me?  When do i get to go to the beach with just me and lolly like we usually do, that is so fun mama?"

and moments later....

"GOsh its been a LONG time since i have see Lolly, she is gone to heaven? right?  I sure do hope she comes home soon, its taking a LONG time.  How long does it take for God to get that poison out of her body so she doesn't throw up all the time?"

* for the record, my parenting failed a little at this phase of life, obv. i DID NOT explain things the understanding way and still today i gulped the HUGE lump of air in my throat, you know just to keep the butterflies in my stomach company and i did what all grown mommies would do CHANGED THE SUBJECT before i broke down*  one day i will be able to talk about that, today was NOT one of them

And monkey must have really really been missed his lolly.  We swung by and picked up john john and he continued his little voice...
Charlie:   "john, Do you know my grandmother Lolly?  She is in Heaven getting all fixed and happy, you know, with God"
John:  yes charlie i know that.  My grandmother is in Heaven too, she was really old and so was her house.
Charlie:  Can you see her, cause my lolly has been gone a long time?
John:  My grandmommy went with me to north carolina last week
Charlie:  well, my big daddy has a whole lotta WOODS at his house, IN HIS OWN yard (this was said like big daddy owned disney world....its the little things in life, isn't it?)
John: i think mine does too, i have not seen him in awhile
charlie: do you know my big daddy? its my grandfather, he takes me swimming all the time and is a really good at canon- balling too. Oh and my other grandmother, mimi, has a race car like your dad has and she can go really really fast!!  (FYI: John's dad has quite a car collection of antique cars from somewhere over seas and Mimi has a very nice Toyota Avalon, is it? Oh the age of sweet innocence is a great one!)

And just like that i arrived at sports camp drop off and saw the little angels waltz in like they owned the place amongst a sea of stinky boys!!!!  I missed my good-bye hugs and kisses and had to yell over the caos, bye charlie I LOVE YOU and will miss you like crazy!  i got in response a flick of a wave and nod.... say it ain't so... HE IS FOUR!!!!  But i am no dumby, he came home and we  cuddled on the couch for hours watching it rain, watching cartoons with a side of snacks, he is for sure my snuggle buddy.  I love you charlie and i too miss our lolly all the time and just like you i really really find it hard to believe she is gone.

I wish i could.... 

Dear Daddyc,

I must be saving mad crazy cell phone minutes from not being able to call mom?