and so... it IS what it IS

i suppose.

One year ago, i lost my mom- 10 minutes later i was second row at my monkey's mother's (and grandmothers) day tea and art show (because if there was ANYONE in the WHOLE world who would have seen that they were THERE first row, it was my mom!) and so i was there partly smiling, clapping and dishing hugs and "good job" comments.

People in mourning have to come to grips with death 

  before they can live again. Mourning can go on for 

  years and years.  It doesn’t end after a year; that’s a 

  false fantasy.  It usually ends when people realize 

  that they can live again, that they can concentrate  

  their energies on their lives as a whole, and not on 

  their hurt, and guilt, and pain. 

(Elizabeth Kubler-Ross) 

and then i would be lying if i said i don't have to remind myself that mom is NOT here with me.... It is usually the 100 times a day, i have a question or comment that no one else really cares about but YOUR OWN MOM!  

OUR NORMAL took on a WHOLE other side.... I would like to think that my dad, brother, & i have somewhat gracefully (with mom and God's help) found and/or are finding our new normal.  

Let the joy of your loved one’s life 

begin to take the place of 

the hurt and anger of the death. 

(Dacie D. Sims) 

dear mom,

We thought of you with love today,
But that is nothing new.
We thought about you yesterday.
And days before that too.
We think of you in silence.
We often speak your name.
Now all we have is memories.
And your picture in a frame.
Your memory is our keepsake.
With which we’ll never part.
God has you in his keeping.
We have you in our heart.

we miss you. 

love.

ALL of US!!!

P.S.

** you didn't think we'd make it, did you?*

*** we KNOW you are proud of all three of us!

And we shall keep on Keeping on, just like you advised....

and just in case you are wondering or looking for someone to "be mad at" a.k.a. jealous over..... 

i found this little diddy in my inbox a couple days ago (and yes, we knew he was there!)

Amy & Dad,
I hope things are beginning to turn around back home.  We continue to read terrible stories about all that is now known in the aftermath of the storms.   We went to a church and prayed for all of the victims, families and all that are helping with the rescue and relief efforts.

Seems strange to be on a vacation in Europe with all of this going on...but we are having a great time over here.   We are currently in the French Riviera. 
 We are staying at the harbor in Monaco and they are getting ready for the big race (Grand Prix) that is in a week. 


  Dad - the boats at this harbor are unbelievable...they said at any given time they will have some of the 100 largest yachts docked here (and there are some very awesome sailboats to boot).  


Amy - you will have to tell Charles that we went to the Monte Carlo casino yesterday....and it was unreal.   They do not even let people in without either a dress or coat jacket after sun down.   The water down here is spectacular, but the beaches are all tiny pebbles....neat, but just can not hold a candle to our fine white sand beaches.  There are some unbelievable cliff lines though.   We hiked to the top of a cliff that overlooks the palace at Monaco yesterday and you could look behind you and see the snow capped peaks of the Alps and be looking at the Mediterranean sea in the other direction.   Well we are off again for the day.....need to catch a 6:30 AM bus into a little town that is supposed to be having a wonderful fair today.  chris

This would be from my older wiser MORE cultured brother.... I mean REALLY? Europe?  Where was i this weekend and had a complete BLAST????   

MISSISSIPPI dear readers, Mississippi... 

Hey, i wouldn't change it for the world-  Thats the part that gets to my plus one. wink wink.

i may or may not change over the course of my boys growing up??? jury is OUT.