if mom were here....

she would leave me a note reading this.....

either under my pillow, in my bag, or in my car..... i would find it and tear up thanking God for giving me my mom.... She had a way of letting us all know how proud she was of us NO matter what.....and i have a feeling 'if i know her' she will continue to do small things to "SHOW" us here left on Earth that she is watching us from above and is PROUD of us....

via all the best

my brood of FIVE

....still takes my breath away to write that.... where did all these boys come from? (thats a whole nother post....) 

headed down to the lake this weekend with our BIG DADDY....and tried to relax and enjoyed our get away....remember my family and our big daddy have minor problems relaxing but we did manage to spring clean, plant a bajillion plants, enjoy new stairs our big daddy built, some got to go to the lumber store and build a gate to keep half of the boys from drowning before our very eyes, weeded the WHOLE yard until past dark, blew the driveway and all outside things, the dock ( we aren't in Fairhope, i mean POINT CLEAR, i can say DOCK not warf, right?), we freshened up mom's planters which are still looking GREAT, blew up all our floats/rafts, uncovered the boat, enjoyed some boat rides, almost got the see-do in....it got COLD! and just enjoyed one another's company.... It felt good to get down there! 

 Its safe to say my biggest baby has not left big daddy's side since last Tuesday night... They have stuck together like glue....They are still together as i type....They are tight like that, i know our lolly is smiling down and is so proud of BOTH of them (i kinda am too!) As my monkey says "they are SO BRAVE"

sorry to say i have NO pictures of my own.... just haven't wanted to document anyone this week.... i owe each friend and family member an allowance of time before i have concrete photos of them going through a tough/sad time, right? 

I have come across some great photos of my mom though.... As she always said "i have enjoyed each phase of my life and have NO regrets" i can see that through her pictures..... i have some of her and her girlfriends riding roller coasters last summer, enjoying the beach, laughing like crazy in almost all of them, lots of her and dad at elegant events, TONS of her and her babies, and those are just the loose ones she hadn't put in an album yet of THIS year.... 

My mom lived a great and FULL life.  If you learned anything from her, i have concluded from your many calls, emails, and personal convos. that everyone loved my mom for welcoming you in ALL THE TIME, inviting you to her house for whatever/whenever, a trust worthy ear to let you vent with NO further talk (she took many secrets with her to heaven, she was an honest person like that), she never judged anyone (although, i can name a few people my older wiser brother and i dated in our past that she had choice words for.....always something like "they just may not be RIGHT for you".

i am thinking i may have laid it out like 

"they are worthless and NO GOOD" but she was a kind hearted soul, quiet, a tid bit shy, and so very girly!   She was always wanting to cook and clean for all God's children...always wanting to help.  In this past year she really struggled with allowing others to do for HER.  She came around and let friends sit with her and keep her company although, she WOULD NEVER ask them of anything....just go thirsty or hungry until big daddy got home. that was just her!  She was born to care for others and she took good care of us all.  

THis mothers day i hope you remember my mom, she was mom TO MANY and a second mom to more of my friends i can name on both hands as is my dad.... Two great people i am proud to call MY Own.

we love ya mom!  

oh. and some of us have itchy throats, runny noses.  Is that allergies? should we go to dr.? or do you think its a cold?  Oh and mom, don't you love the spot at the lake where big daddy hung that painting your sister did.  Perfect! We looked at stars last night, Did you send us that shooting one?  Charlie spotted it.  lots of love. oh and what about the enormous bugs big daddy and charlie caught and the frog.... I KNOW... and he almost got that slippery lizard... EEEKKK!!! i could go on forever. i miss you like crazy!  but you are leaving me with a smile like always 'cause i can hear your response to all my remarks and questions.  thanks for that memory mom.  off to run with big daddy, we gotta get back in shape. wink wink.

Isa 66:13 
As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem."

mom

The young mother set her foot on the path of life.  
‘Is this the long way?’ she asked.  
And the guide said: ‘Yes, and the way is hard...  
And you will be frail and tired before you reach the end of it…
But, 

the end will be better than the beginning.’ 

But, the young mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years.  
So she played with her children, and gathered flowers for them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams; and the sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried, 

‘Nothing will ever be lovlier than this.’ 

Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said, 

‘Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come'. 

 And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary.  But at all times she said to the children, 

‘Show a little patience and you will get there.’  

So the children climbed, and when they reached the top they said, ‘Mother, we would not have done it without you.’ 

And the mother, when she lay down at night looked up at the stars and said, 
‘This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness.  Yesterday I gave them courage.  Today, I’ve given them strength.’
And the next day came strange clouds which darkened the earth, clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped and stumbled, and the mother said:  

‘Look up.  Lift your eyes to the Light.’  And the children looked and saw above the clouds an Everlasting Glory, and it guided them beyond the darkness.  And that night, the Mother said, ‘This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children God.’ 

And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the mother grew frail and she was little and bent.  But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage.  And when the way was rough, they lifted her up, and at last, they came to a hill, and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide.  And Mother said, 

‘I have reached the end of my journey.  And now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their children after them.’ 

And, the children said, ‘You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates.’  And, they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her.  And they said:  

‘We cannot see her but she is with us still.  A Mother like ours is more than a memory.  She is a living presence…’

calling all YOU angels....

Take Good care of my mom.  I am counting on you!  

To my blog stalkers who don't know.....My mom lost her year long fight this week with cancer.....I miss her like crazy..... She was my bestest friend who always said "be a mom NOT a best friend to your child" but somewhere along the way she crossed over.  She was the BEST mom, my best friend and even BETTER grandmother.  we talked more than 10 times a day about serious things and about less serious things like what produce just arrived at the local farmers market.  She was MY BIGGEST FAN no dout....STILL IS... and her babies could do NO wrong and are quite simply the smartest, most talented little boys she has EVER seen.  She was proud! Proud of my dad and told me weeks ago he was a TREMENDOUS husband who NEVER left her side.....EVER.... and was an outstanding caregiver through it all.....She was so very proud of "her little boy" (my older wiser brother)....She thought he did it ALL and would randomly call and tell me, "christopher brought me all these protein drinks" like he had delivered a cure for cancer.... DID I MENTION SHE WAS PROUD!!!!!

She was also proud of her sisters....She knew all too well what they continued to do, take time away from their own families each week, drive in town endless days at a time, i could go on and on.... She LOVED her family!

So tomorrow i will lay my mom to rest KNOWING she is NOT there.... She is with loved ones amongst endless angels and things she loved.... She is with me ALL the time now and not just 5 miles away anymore.... i know she is glad to be free from the pain and suffering she faced for the past year and a half.  

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. 
 Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27


Dear mom, 
I miss you like crazy.  tell everyone hello and i will be with you again soon. 
i love you!
Amy


p.s. ARen't you proud of dad?  God has given him such strength through YOU.  I think he will surprise ME and YOU esp. ..... 

to know HER is to....

love her dearly......

Dear God, 

We are praying for specifics AGAIN.....

A little extra TLC and a whole lotta PEACE, COMFORT, & UNDERSTANDING for us all in the ways of dealing with cancer.   

Depending on YOU, 

Amy

we love you mom!

if only...

i had a big enough yard.... i feel sure daddyc would install one of these

or if i knew how to sew, i could save a boat load of money but lose a boat load of time...which is more valuable? 

if only my biggest chocolate puppy was in fact STILL A PUPPY would be dreamy, he was this stinkn' cute too! 
still is in a old man kinda way...

OR whatif only i put the camera DOWN....would i enjoy the moment MORE or would you miss the moment by not having it to recall upon time and time again when my memory is failing me?

if only i was HERE, would i EVER come home ? you are right i just got home from the beach....must RELAX....rinse and repeat... 
relaxing is NOT easy for me to do but it sure does help me knock out house and family chores...i will admit, its good to be home, all things clean, be back on 
our" task (whatever that may be for the week) and put back to "normal" bedtimes, etc. included....i wish that organized staple (or ocd nature) was NOT ingrained so deeply in my being, i really really do....

on a whole nother LESS peachy note....

 my mom is BACK in the hospital AGAIN.... Dad took her yesterday morning and she will stay put for a couple days.... same ole' story of blood loss.....where, why?  same ole' answers unfortunately...... say some prayers!  Brookwood is taking good care of her.


I am off to take boys to school (2 of the three anyway) and head to a 9 am meeting and then gym and then back to a 11 am meeting.....I am already tired of meeting!!!! THe overcast weather deflates my motivation times 100!  Hopefully i can muster up some? wish me luck.

traveln' LIGHT

while its NOT the ONLY way to go...... it is for sure the lighter, less stressful way to go NO DOUT!!  Daddyc and i packed our bags and got away this past weekend leaving the whole village in charge of our 3 boys and 2 dogs..... IT TAKES THAT!  But this is the FIRST time i have ever left them with anyone but my parents and GUESS WHAT, i was happy for them as well as myself, everyONE had a wonderfully filled fun weekend!!!   And i feel for sure our Allie & our Mimi will enjoy time ALONE........
Seaside is a great place for anyone looking to get away!  highly recommended by me.

We wasted NO time getting to the beach......some grabbed a mile high stack of magazines and others.....had more important things on their mind.....

NO NOT beer, although; that did NOT fall far behind......

'cause we would HATE to be out of touch, wouldn't we?  i pretended he was phone OBSESSED just in case our boys needed us. wink wink.  NO, TRUTH be told he was playing good music through the iphone not chatting.....i think we enjoyed our first 4 hours in SILENCE.....it is a good thing!

while we did NOT have our own cabana man, shoot! next time. i think we both enjoyed the time away from being our boys and dogs life long cabana men more than anything....

we enjoyed the cutest seaside cottage, perfectly made for TWO.

we loved seeing the wedding events going on, wait.... I enjoyed seeing the wedding events going on.  Daddyc was so very glad he wasn't having to attend ONE!  

Great food.

great drinks

FABULOUS charm that was endless....

And LOOK NO BABIES to disrupt our train of thought..... LIFE WAS iS GOOD!!

while the red bar IS NOT charming in the very least.... its good food and GREAT ole' memories!!!

we were thrilled to get back home and see our brood.... I think the boys are glad we are back, i KNOW the dogs are glad we came back!  Hope you got to enjoy the weekend with your PLUS ONE....I hear the sea side in general was "going on" this past weekend with a wine festival on one side and mullet toss on another BOTH of which i would have loved in a yuppy & redneck kinda way...Next trip. 

miss me

via pinkwall paper

while i don't have to think very hard cause' i am counting days until i VACATE with my plus one this week....and will be cruising around seaside with my significant other NO boys in tow on one of these i hope!

so fun if it actually has a cute basket like this... i will stow something away there i feel for sure!

So i think i will end my week today with you all!  I am a busy bee and have things to get DONE before i take my beach bag and RUN!!! Have great weekends and MISS ME WHILE I AM GONE....